A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1954.25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.
That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?"
The man thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these wonderful years you deserve to know the truth: Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer bottle in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
The woman was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen. And I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace.
A little while later, the woman asked the man, "Why do you have all that money in the box?" To which the man answered, "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."
*******
Sadie and Benny were both 65 years old and were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
When all the family and guests had left their house, a fairy appeared from nowhere and said to them, “Congratulations, you two. I’m here to grant you both one wish each.”
Sadie said, “I want to travel around the world.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and POW – Sadie had tickets in her hand for a round the world cruise on a Cunard liner.
Then the fairy asked Benny what he wanted.
Benny replied. “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy picked up her wand and POW – Benny was 95 years old!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
40th Wedding Anniversary funnies
50th Wedding Anniversary: A collection of Jokes
A man was talking to his friend about what to do for his 50th wedding anniversary. The friend asked, "What did you do for your 25th?"
He said, "I took my wife to Tokyo."
The friend then asked, "What are you thinking about for your 50th?"
He said, "Well I was thinking of bringing her back."
*******
A man and woman were recently celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
While cutting the cake, the wife was moved after seeing her husband’s eyes fill with tears.
The wife took his arm, and looked at him affectionately.
“I never knew you were so sentimental.” she whispered.
“No . . . No . . .” he said, choking back his tears, “That’s not it at all. Remember when your father found us in the barn and told me to either marry you or spend the next 50 years in jail?”
“Yes,” the wife replied. “I remember it like yesterday.”
“Well,” said the husband, “Today I would have be a free man.”
*******
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
The man looks at his wife as asks “what would you like to do for our anniversary?”
She then replies “we could run upstairs and make love.”
He replies, “Make up your mind, we can’t do both.”
*******
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration."Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
*******
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one.
"Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father, "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father, "We're glad you were able to come."
Then the daughter arrived, "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time."
"You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college."
"Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father, "And cheap ones too."
*******
Shlomo and Rifka had now been married for 50 years and that night, after the celebrations were over, they were in bed and in a pretty romantic mood.
Rifka looked at Shlomo and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had."
Shlomo felt a bit obliged, so he leaned over and gave her a gentle peck on the cheek.
Then Rifka said, "I also remember, Shlomo, when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity."Again feeling obliged, Shlomo gently placed his hand on hers.
Then Rifka said, "I also remember, Shlomo, when you used to nibble on my neck and sent chills up and down my spine. It was lovely."
This time, with a blank stare on his face, Shlomo got out of the bed and as he began to walk out of the bedroom, Rifka asked him, "Was it something I said, Shlomo, where are you going?"
Shlomo looked at Rifka and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!"
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Personalised gifts: Online Opinions
"There is nothing quite like adding a bit of personality to a present, and by choosing a personalised gift, you can put a big smile on someone's face. A bespoke present shows that thought has gone into the purchase and it shows a level of intimacy. This type of gift can only be bought by someone who knows the person well and thankfully now there many ways you can create a personalised gift easily using photographs".
Opinion From Dominic Donaldson
"Personalisation is an essential part of any high-quality gift. All presents can be given that finishing touch, simply by adding the person’s initials, name, date or writing them a little message".
"By instilling some special sentimentality into a gift, the recipient can appreciate that item for the rest of their lives. Having a persons name engraved on any precious item not only adds to its value materially, but also shows a thoughtful touch. It is a way for you to show the effort you have made to select the perfect gift: something a person can cherish forever and always know who gave it to them".
Opinion From Jo Varley
About Mother's Day Gifts
"Finding a truely special Mother's Day Gift needn't be hard. Mothering Sunday, otherwise know as Mother's day is day to celebrate and honour mothers across the country. If like for me, your mother is your rock, your best friend and the person you turn to for support, through all your ups and downs, then showing your appreciation and love on Mother's Day is a must. Personalised Gifts are very special. As the name implies they are personalised so that it is specific for your mum. There's a huge array of personalised products in the market place to chose from so we are all in fact spoilt for choice".
Opinion From Linh Duong
Need to give someone a personalised gift? Get them a beautiful handmade painting on canvas
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Bea Arthur: Things she said
From Interview with Miriam DiNunzio of the Chicago Sun-Times in May 2001
“... I didn't know what that was about at all. I was asked to be in it by the composer of that song
[“Goodnight, But Not Goodbye”]…but I had no idea it was even a part of the whole Star Wars thing…I just remember singing to a bunch of people with funny heads.”
"Suddenly the whole country knew me. It was very odd and different," .........."Originally, I used to find myself running away from people and dodging them at restaurants. But I since have found that people who do come up and tell you they enjoy you and your performance, it's really very sweet."
